Falling In Love at a Coffee Shop
by MrsKarkatVantas33
Summary: *HUMANSTUCK* Nepeta and Karkat haven't met each other once. They haven't even set their eyes upon each other until that faithful moment in both of their favourite coffee shops. Everything their friends and family members say is an attempt to derail their emotions, but somehow, someway, they continue to be drawn to each other. *Rated for language and future adult themes.*
1. Lovecraft

Karkat Vantas just stubbed his fucking toe on a coffee table. How motherfucking awesome. He groans and puts on a pair of pants and an unwrinkled black shirt and prepares himself for the day. He checks his shitty flip-phone, and, of fucking course. His shit-head of a best friend has texted him in his retarded way of text.

"HeY fUcKeR. wHaT tHe FuCk ArE yOu DoInG tOdAy?"

Karkat rolls his eyes. What a fucking cock. He bashes his too-big fingers against the shitty little number pad of his cellular device.

"NOT A FUCKING THING, YOU STUPID ASSHAT. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?"

It takes a minute, but soon enough he hears the little bleep of his phone, and it buzzes in his lap.

"I wAs JuSt WoNdErInG iF yOu WaNtEd To Go FoR mOtHeRfUcKiNg CoFfEe? No HoMo." Karkat grunts and nearly throws his phone at the wall, but he'd rather not have to clean up a mess of little plastic hunks.

"YEAH. WHAT-THE-FUCK-EVER. LET'S GO." So, being the boring fucker he is, he drives to the little coffee shop a few blocks away, "Just Bean Brewed" to meet up with motherfucking Gamzee. While Karkat waits for his fucking name to be called, his gaze falls upon a girl with dark, unruly shoulder length hair. On her head, she wears a blue, cat eared beanie, and she's reading a novel. She's totally fucking into the book, so it must be good, he thinks. So, he squints, and is able to read the author of the somewhat thin novel, H.P. Lovecraft, huh, she's into the good stuff. Sure, he sort of likes romance, but he'd always had a soft spot for Sir Lovecraft; he's a genius.

She sets her book down to take a sip of her beverage and catches his gaze, her gorgeous green eyes widen and she quickly picks up and redirects her attention to the book, her cheeks reddening. Karkat allows the corners of his mouth to tweak slightly, making his expression a mix between a small smile and a smirk. The guy at the til, wearing the retarded glasses with two different lenses, red and blue, calls Karkat's name, snapping him out of the daydream about the cat girl.

"Karkat Vantas?" The dude repeats. _Fuck, I'm coming, gimme a second to get there, you stupid fucker,_ he thinks. He tears his gaze from the adorable little kitten across the little shop from him and take the cup of coffee, groaning as some of the hot black liquid splashes out onto his hand. That fucking hurt. He pulls out his phone and decides to call motherfucking Gamzee.

"Dude," Karkat says, his voice hushed, gaze still focused on the beautiful girl before him, "Where the hell are you?"

"Calm the fuck down, shit-for-brains. I'm on my fucking way, in fact, I just motherfucking pulled into the parking lot. Are you motherfucking happy?"

A ripped dude, who would likely tower the fuck over Karkat if the two of them stood back to back, walks up to Karkat's, erm, _the_ girl. Who the fuck does this guy think he is? The cat girl folds the top corner of the page she's on, and sets the book aside. Biting her lip, her cute, pointed, little fangs become visible._ So cute_, Karkat thinks. She reaches a fingerless glove-clad hand over the table and rests it on the fucker's. _Oh. My. Fuck. You little shit, Karkat. Fuck you. Fuck you so hard. You're into a fucking taken woman. Fuck you_. He argues with himself for a few moments before the obnoxious voice of one Gamzee Makara snaps him out of it.

"You stupid fucker, I fucking said, where the fuck are you sitting?" Karkat rolls his eyes away from the _couple _and mentally counts to ten. _Deep breaths, Karkat. _

"I'm by the washrooms, sitting at a two seated table. Facing the big fucking panoramic window."

"A shitty fucking spot for a fucking piece of shit. Great. I'll see you in five." There's a click and Karkat lets the dead-end beeping lull him into a deep thought about how he'd go about killing the testosterone over-dosed fuckwad that's sitting across from his, shit, _the_ girl. He decides on Scaphism, a long and painful method. He daydreams the whole execution. First, he'd strip him naked, and then he'd drag him to somewhere remote and outdoors. Kartkat'd tie the stupid fucker down in a way that made it impossible to escape, perhaps with a strong steel chain, but he'd think about that later. He would force feed him milk and honey until he developed extreme and very painful diarrhoea, swamping him in his own feces.

Once the diarrhoea calmed a bit, he'd rub honey all over his naked body, to attract even more insects, such as bees and wasps. The pain would be unimaginable, especially due to insects breeding within his gangrenous flesh, he'd eventually succumb to physical and psychological pain, diarrhoea, nausea, dehydration, starvation, and so on. He'd hope that asphyxia would occur, once the ants swarmed into his body through his ears, mouth and nose, eventually entering the lungs. Karkat couldn't even think about how it would feel, but he loved the thought of him suffering completely. That'd teach that stupid fucker. He smirks and laughs, just as fuckface, or Gamzee walked to the table, slamming down a mug of something that could only be expresso, that way the people would be able to draw a little clown face with the foam. Karkat glances into the cup and sure enough, there's a little face that resembles his signature emote, ":o)" like there was any question.

Karkat looks back at the girl, who is focused on stirring the liquid in her cup with a little brown stir stick. Mr Testosterone is checking out the ass of a blond girl wearing tight pink shorts. _What a piece of fucking work_, he thinks. That's who his girl is with? Pathetic.

"Yo, what the fuck, Karkat. What the fucking hell are you looking at?" Karkat looks at his friend and he's frantically looking around for the object of his affection. "Is it that babe in the cat hat?" He hopes that the warmth in his cheeks is just from the steam rising from his coffee and shakes his head.

"See the bitch in the pink shorts? She's a fucking babe. S'got a great ass." Karkat says, nodding his head as if the bimbo even remotely interests him.

"Oh fuck, you're fucking right. I'd tap that hard. The first fucker to put me out of her would be crowned the King of England, ya dig?" Karkat rolls his eyes at his friend's stupidity. _What a fucking cock. _

Nepeta Leijon sits alone at a little table right in front of the big panoramic window in her favourite coffee shop, "Just Bean Brewed", she loved the name, it was so cheesy, but it fit. Resting before her is a Lovecraft novel, one of her absolute favourites, "The Rats in the Walls." Also in front of her is a steaming hot cup of tea, with three cubes of sugar, and two teaspoons of milk, just the way she liked it. She sets her book aside so that she can take a sip of her tea, and happen to meet the gaze of a boy with dark and alluring eyes, messy black hair, and a somewhat pale complexion. He's staring either right at her, or at something on her face. She allows herself to think that it's just something on her face, and quickly retrieves her book, submerging herself in the text until she hears the familiar scuffing of boots and her best friend Equius sits down across from her. She dog-ears her current page and sets the book down, she risks glancing in the direction of the boy and bites her lip to hide a smile. Nepeta turns her face to meet Equius' gaze, reaching across the table to put a hand over his much larger one. This was a friendly gesture, something she'd done for years. If she was standing, she'd likely have hugged him or at least taken his hand and squeezed it gently. He was like her brother, some would even say they looked alike.

"Hey." She says, straining to look past the dark lenses of his glasses, but failing. She hardly ever sees his eyes. This thought makes her frown slightly.

"Hey there, Nep." He says and she smiles at him, "How's it going?" She shrugs a little and removes her cap, setting it down on the table neatly, so that she can run her hand through her messy locks.

"I'm okay, but school sucks, you're lucky you didn't catch me when I was studying!" She says, now that she started college, she barely had any time to herself, so she barely saw Equius, or anybody, for that matter. She felt like she was a prisoner in her own home; like she was a cat locked in an uncomfortable kennel. She sighs in defeat and cocks her head to the side, allowing herself to peek at the boy, who was having an intense looking conversation with the strange looking man before him.

"I see, and that's totally understandable, dearest." He said, and she giggles at him, her gaze still falling upon the boy. How handsome he was. How hauntingly beautiful his features were. He looked away from his friend, and to Nepeta, catching her gaze. The corners of his lips perked slightly, and he nodded, at his friend, but also to her. This small gesture released a cage of butterflies in her stomach and set her cheeks aflame. She feels Equius' eyes on her and turn away from the boy, letting her eyes linger on him for a few more moments before looking into the lenses of Equius' sunglasses.

"Who ya looking at?" Her face flushes, She's sure of it.

"Well... Umm..."

* * *

Changed from second person to third.

God. Some people suck.

Anyway, hope you enjoy!


	2. Bubbling

"Well... Umm..." You fear that if you answer, you'll stutter and completely lose your cool, so you take a breath and shake your head, putting up a strong front. "Nobody, Equius. Just daydreaming, I suppose."

"About a boy in one of your classes? Is he cute? Is he dreamy?" He says in an obvious attempt at pushing your buttons. You shrug it off and smile at him.

"No, I was just thinking about how I would go about murdering one of my professors in a way that would be inconspicuous!"

"That's my girl," Equius says, nodding his head at you, "Well," he begins, gulping down what seems to be the last of his drink, "I think I'm gonna blow this popsicle stand, you need a ride, Nep?" You acknowledge his offer and smile, shaking your head.

"No thank you, I think I'm going to finish up my book and drink my tea like a true hermit." You say, sending a wink in the muscled man's direction. He nods and then catches your eyes flicker in the direction of the boy. Oh no.

"That's the guy you've been checking out? He's sitting with Gamzee Makara, who is bad news. Stay away from him, okay, Nep? I don't want you to get involved." You sigh and roll your eyes, it was typical that Equius would nose into your business.

"I'll be interested in who I want to be interested in, Equius. I'm sorry if you do not agree with whom it is!" You say, a razor-like edge in your voice. He grunts, loudly pushes his chair in, and stomps out of the little shop. You huff and sit back in your chair. How dare he. Crossing your arms over your chest, you fume for a few moments before picking your book back up and focusing all of your attention on it, as if you didn't feel the dark eyes of a highly attractive boy burning into you.

== You're Karkat Vantas, and Gamzee is totally pissing you off. He's going on and on about this stupid bitch he wants to stuff from college. You never went to college, fuck school. In an attempt to filter his horribly obnoxious voice out, you focus on the cat girl, and try to read her lips. Something about a cottage, something about sucking. What the hell? You decide against trying to read her lips because she talks so fast that her lips move like those of a hummingbird. You're not even sure if you want to hear what she has to say, so you decide to look enthralled with whatever the fuck Gamzee is talking about, nodding and grimacing when appropriate. You happen to catch the girl looking at you, so fix your expression to hopefully be calm, cool, and collected, with a smirk adorning your mouth. You nod your head to her, but also to Gamzee, and you swear you catch her smile and blush before she turns back to Sir Steroid and blushes again. The dude turns his head around and searches for something before turning back and looking at you. The girl looks shocked and shakes her head, batting her eyelashes at the dude, who laughs and slams his hands against the table. Prick, you think. He stands up quickly, looks right at you, and storms out of the shop. Oh god, did you just cause a breakup? The girl looks pissed as hell. Uh oh. You think this is bad, and you feel terribly, but some part of you, deep down inside, is ecstatic, and quite honestly rather flattered. Gamzee must see the blush on your cheeks, and snaps his fingers.

"Quit wet-daydreaming, cock." You blink and turn to face him.

"Huh? Oh, uh, I wasn't. I was just looking at another ass, you know?" Gamzee rolls his eyes.

"Have fun with that, fuckwad. I'm gonna go. See you, you motherfucker!" He gets up, leaves, and you're stuck there, left to your thoughts. After you ponder it for a moment, you decide to go up to the girl and talk to her, what could possibly go wrong?

== You're Nepeta Leijon, and gosh, that boy is sure cute. You bite your lip and glance up at him. Oh my, his friend is leaving! You feel the pit of your belly ignite in warmth and you act as if you're unphased, deep in thought, highly enthralled in your book. A chair scuffs, and your breath catches in your throat. He's not coming over here, is he? No way. Your finger joints begin to turn white as you grip your book tighter. You heart speeds up and you feel the first bead of sweat swell on your forehead. You don't risk looking up from your book. That would make you seem desperate, wouldn't it?

"Uh, hey." The voice makes your heart swell, just a little. It's deep, but sort of pained, and like his features, it's beautiful in some way. You look up from your book and smile brightly up at the man. You notice he has very attractive, hazel, almost-crimson eyes. It's incredible. He's amazing. It couldn't possibly be love yet, could it? Sure it's merely infatuation. He's running a hand through his disheveled black hair and looking down on you, almost uncomfortably. Answer him, stupid!

"Hi! Um, take a seat, purrlease!" Damn, a cat pun. He's going to think you're crazy. He takes a seat across from you and gives you a sweet little smile.

"Was that a cat pun?" He's teasing you! If he wasn't so cute.. gog, you're screwed!

"Um... Maybe? Pur-er-please, don't judge me... It's just sort of a habit.." You duck your head and blush. He laughs and shrugs.

"Don't worry about it, I think it's sort of... um.. cute." Now he's blushing! Goodness. That's going to be hard to ignore...

== You're Karkat Vantas. You've just sat across from the cute cat girl. Jesus fucking Christ, she's gorgeous. What's the bubbling in the pit of your stomach? Are you about to puke? Oh god, you knew that yogurt didn't taste right. Fuck fuck fuck. Now it's warm. Indigestion? You've never felt like this before. Not even with that chick you dated in high school, you can't even really remember her name. Terri? Was it Terri? That doesn't matter, focus on the girl. You just laid on the moves, but you're pretty sure you're blushing like the little pussy you are. Just wonderful.

"Thank you!" She says, her cheeks are as red as a beat. So fucking cute.

"Of course, can I buy you another drink?" Oh god, you're not at a bar, smart one! She just smiles and shrugs.

"Do you plan on staying here long?" She says, followed by a sweet little giggle. You nod, but catch yourself mid head bob, raising your eye brows.

"Do you, uh, want me to?" Your face gets really hot, you think you might sweat off like fifty pounds. Does anyone have a bucket you could catch the sweat with? Please? you think. You gulp and look into her green eyes, running your tongue over your chapped lips.

"Sure... But um, what's your name?" Oh shit! You forgot to tell her your fucking name! Are you retarded?

"Karkat... Karkat Vantas. I'm a Cancer." You say, wait a fucking second, did you actually just tell her your sign? She giggles, nodding her head a little.

"Nice to meet you, Karkat," She extends her hand to you, "My name is Nepeta Leijon. I'm a Leo!" Your heart melts. Nepeta Leijon, the Leo. You could get used to hearing that name.

* * *

Hey! Thanks for reading! :33 Hope you enjoyed it!

Also, it's been brought to my attention that second person work is not allowed? That's stupid, and I'm lazy as hell, so I don't feel like going back and changing everything. So I'm going to see what happens... Hopefully it stays up!


	3. My Roommate's Ex

== You're Nepeta Leijon, and you're currently touching _his _hand. Not just any hand, but the hand of Karkat Vantas. You're very aware of how clammy it is. That's not because he's nervous, right? You can't possibly be making him nervous, could you? The thought excites you so much that you think you might faint from the rush of blood to your head. You smile. He's so handsome.

"Was that your boyfriend? I noticed that he looked kind of... um... pissed." You gasp and cover your mouth.

"No, no! That was Equius. He's my best friend, he's a brother to me! My guardian, I suppose." You say, your voice a squeal, he thought Equius was your boyfriend! That was a close call. Karkat sighs, and you're not sure if it's in annoyance, or relief. Could he be relieved that Equius is nothing but a brother to you? He looks you right in the eyes and your heart stops beating.

"Hey, Nepeta?" He says, his voice is uneven, his breathing is ragged.

"Yes, Karkat?" You say, leaning in closer. He reaches out a hand to brush his thumb over the corner of your mouth.

"You had some foam, it's gone now." He says with a chuckle, and you flush and look down at the table, and then down to the hands placed in your lap, you notice the tremble in them. Are you that nervous?

"Oh, um, thanks." You say, and you're vaguely aware of how high your voice is, and that husky little crackly edge to it.

"No problem." Karkat's phone buzzes and makes a clown horn noise. _Honk honk. _You allow yourself to tense a little. You hate clowns. He checks his phone. "Oh, uh, it's Gamzee, the guy that was sitting with me earlier, apparently he's locked out of his house.." You make a little disappointed meep and turn your face down, pouting at the table.

"Oh.. Okay.." You say, your face completely falling. He reaches across the table to touch your face and laughs in a way that makes your heart beat a little faster.

"Hey," He says, rubbing his thumb against your flesh. Thank god you moisturized. "Don't be so sad. I'll text you, okay, Nepeta?" He slides his phone to you and you add yourself as "Nepeta! :33" You smile at him, grab his hand, and give it a small squeeze.

"I'll see you around." You say, and he winks at you before leaving the shop.

== You're Karkat Vantas, and you're one smooth motherfucker. You got this incredibly gorgeous girl's number. You made a great impression on her, and that hand squeeze? It still sent shivers down your spine. You couldn't get over how sad she looked when you said you had to leave, and you had to curse Gamzee's timing, although, that likely would've went all day. Not that you'd mind. You drive to Gamzee's shitty little apartment and give him the spare key you somehow have in your possession.

"Hey, fuckwad." He says, "Thanks a ton. Also, that cat girl you were totally checking out? That's Equius' little pet. Equius was in my autobody class in high school, he's kind of a major cockwad. I took the liberty to search not only Equius, but also stalk about to find the babe. He's in her profile picture on PhaseBook, and vice versa. He called her his girl. There's no relationship status, but it doesn't look good for you." He says.

"I talked to her, and I'd really appreciate if you'd stay the fuck out of my business, 'kay?" You snap, and Gamzee shrugs.

"It's your sack."

== You're Nepeta Leijon, and you can't get the boy out of your mind. He's so cute! He's so sweet! You just want to shove him in your closet and smother him in love, not that you would... But... You know. Your face tingles where he touched, your hand is ablaze with the feel of his.

You're lying on your bed right now, staring up at the ceiling, replaying the exchange in your mind. You hear the door slam and you sit up. "Ter?" You holler out at your roommate.

"Nepeta, I'd appreciate if you'd get the hell out here and help your blind friend out, mmkay?" You sigh and nod your head, rolling over on your bed to boost yourself up and run to her assistance.

While unpacking the many loads of groceries, you still struggle with the thought of Karkat, so you decide to see what Terezi has to say about him.

"Hey, Ter?" You ask sort of absently as you set a head of lettuce in your refrigerator crisper.

"Yeah, Nep, what's up?" She asks, looking in your direction, but not directly at you, because, you know, she's blind.

"Do you know someone named Karkat?" You ask, and Terezi drops the can of soup she was previously holding, it bursts open in a mess of red chunky goop.

"Karkat _Vantas?" _She snarls as the glop spreads out across the linoleum and covers her shoes, you gasp out and run to get a towel.

"Er, yes, I assume this means you know him?" You say, wiping the foul smelling tomato soup off of the floor.

"I dated the bastard in high school. Before I was blind. When I went blind he just stopped talking to me, dropped off of the face of Earth, not like I'd know the difference if he did. I couldn't _see." _You think about this for a moment, cocking your head to the side as you run hot water over the soaked through dish rag.

"Oh." That was a long time ago though, Terezi was much older than Nepeta. So did that mean Karkat was too?

"He's an asshole. Don't get involved with him, Nep, I swear." She warns, just as your pocket buzzes. You slip it out of your pocket after you've thoroughly washed your hands of the chunky tomato soup. It's a number you're not familiar with, but you know who it must be from the content.

"_HEY, PRETTY KITTY. WHAT'S SHAKIN'?"_

* * *

Oh snap.

Thanks for reading! :33


End file.
